I hated the taxi driver who drove 5 minutes and asked me for 200.00 fare. I blamed and hated myself for forgetting my wallet in the office yesterday during rush hour(i needed to get out from the FX to get my wallet).
Just today, I was irritated while talking to a friend, when he’s telling me (I guess suggesting) what i need to do, I felt dictated.
These are the emotions that are kept inside my heart and right now all i want to do is to cry out, but I can’t.
Well, there is one person that I know, who will never judge me, He will accept me even i messed up a thousand times. Someone who will not argue with me(although i argue with Him so many times). Someone who will listen to my litanies and reasonings. And I know no matter how clever and logical are my own reasonings. His wisdom is unfathomable.
His thoughts are higher that my thoughts.
And i know no matter how many complains I have in my heart, I am always be His beloved and I always crawl to Him, to Jesus who keeps me in His care.
On the other side, I know that I just over reacting when I said that my prayers are remained unanswered. I know He is an answering God. He proved that when He saved my mother from a tragic accident. I praise and thank Him for His faithfulness and love. I don’t deserve it.