I’ve got this from Joshua Harris book entitled Boy Meets Girl. I found this helpful especially to those who decided to leave their singlehood. It’s actually ten questions, i’ll be sharing the other five questions the next time I blog.
1. Is your relationship centered on God and His glory?
Is Jesus Christ the Lord of both your hearts? A happy marriage is founded on mutual love and submission to Him. Are you obedient to His Word? Are both of you striving to find your soul’s satisfaction in God? If you aren’t you’ll enter marriage with the false expectation that it will fulfill and complete you. You’ll put unrealistic demands on your spouse by asking him or her to play a role only Christ can fill.
2. Are you growing in friendship, communication, fellowship and romance?
Friendship- Do you enjoy being together. Are there activities that draw you together? Do you have a solid foundation of friendship? Are there activities and interests that draw you together? If you were the same sex, do you think you’d be friends?
Communication- Have you grown in your ability to hear and understand each other? Every relationship will have room for improvement; the question is, do you see growth?
Fellowship- Do you talk about spiritual things? Do you pray together? Do you love God more today as a result of your relationship?
Romance- Are you growing in your romantic desire for each other? Are your affections increasing? If they aren’t, why do you think they’re absent? Are you trying to make the relationship work when your heart really isn’t in it?
3. Are you clear on your biblical roles as man and woman?
Do both of you have a biblical conviction about what it means to be a godly man or godly woman? Are you in agreement about the role of husband and wife?
If you are a woman, ask yourself if this man is someone you could respect, submit to, and love. The bible assigns a wife two primary responsibilities: to respect and submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18). These two responsibilities are closely linked. If you respect your husband, submitting to him will be a joy. If you don’t respect him, submission will be a burdensome.
If you’re a man, are you currently initiating and leading in the relationship? Do you have the faith to lead this woman and serve her in love for a lifetime? You need to make sure that she can and will follow your spiritual leadership.
4. Are other people supportive of your relationship?
Have you had the protection and support of your local church in your courtship? Please don’t move forward with engagement before getting counsel from people who know well.
5. Is sexual desire playing too big (or too small) a part in your decision?
Sexual involvement before marriage can muddle clear thinking. Someone has said “Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.” Has sexual desire fooled you into believing that your relationship is better than it really is? Or is looking forward to sex a primary motive in wanting to get married? Sex is obviously a very important part of marriage, but remember that It can’t make up weaknesses in other parts of a relationship.
While sexual desire shouldn’t play too big a part, it shouldn’t be too small, either. It’s important that you are sexually attracted to your spouse. As my dad likes to say , we shouldn’t try to be more spiritual than God and marry someone we aren’t excited about going to bed will