One of my many needs is the need to be loved. And I thought that is also the need of the men, but while our need is to be loved, men’s need is respect. The Bible says in Ephesians 5 that men should love their wife and wife to respect or submit to their husband.
Our love to our men is not enough but our respect is more than enough to love them. They really need respect and affirmation especially with their wife or significant others. If you want to love your man the way he wants you to love him then make sure that he feels your respect. Sometimes we thought of but how can I respect someone who is sometimes disrespectful. Well with the same that we always tell our men to love us even we are not unlovable sometimes, that they should love us unconditionally in the same way they are requesting from us that we must respect them unconditionally.
You may ask yourself how will i know that i am disrespecting my husband or significant others. We usually cry when we feel unloved, while men’s response when they feel disrespected is anger. So when your husband or significant other becomes angry with you, that you know that you are making him feel disrespected.
Another question is how do i respect my husband or significant other. Men have a hard time expressing their love to us or sometimes they do not know how to express their love to their wife or significant other. Same is true with women, women sometimes do not know how to express their respect to their husbands or significant others. It’s not enough to say “honey I respect you or honey I am proud of you and I trust you” we have to show them with our actions.
I think men feel that they are being respected when their wife or significant other respects their knowledge, opinions and decisions. It is as if your are saying to them that you trust them.
Respect their abilities, let them figure out things for themselves, do not dictate what they need to do unless they will ask you. I remember a Pastor mentioned, that he never asked direction from someone even when they have been lost and that his wife was suggesting him to just ask someone for direction. Men want to do things on their own, they are fulfilled when they accomplished things. Let’s have confidence in our men’s capabilities.
Another thing is they hate being compared with other men. Don’t ever, ever compare your husband with your friend’s husband. If there’s one person that will encourage and lift him up it must be you, wife.
Wives are also commanded to submit to their husbands. Submission means you are going to stand in your husband’s beliefs and position. It is “standing under” your husband that you are covered and protected.
That’s how men created. If we need to be loved by them unconditionally then we ought to respect them unconditionally.
© 2008 by jhunnelle