There were things that we considered before saying yes to marriage.
- We made it sure that we share a common “faith”, that Jesus Christ is both the Lord of our life. We have the desire and willingness to glorify and serve Him. Why is having the same faith so important? Your concept of God and your spiritual commitment will affect every part of your life. How you raise the kids, how you love each other, how you conduct your business, how you solve conflicts, even how you start your meal, for example you want to pray before meal but your partner finds it so weird. We must have the same commitment with what the bible says. Some of the things that we considered were, sex before marriage is out and divorce is not an option. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, etc. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have in darkness?” Paul knew that it will be very hard for two people to stay in one roof for the rest of their lives with different views in life.We pray for each other. God placed in my heart to intercede for Albert. Though we are miles away, we try to pray together each day using the Yahoo Messenger (thanks to the technology). We constantly remind ourselves that our satisfaction can only be found in Jesus. We will not get married just because we feel the emptiness in us but we get married because we are whole in Christ and because this is what our Lord wants for us.
- I asked myself, am willing to respect and submit to this man unconditionally. Though it’s hard because of my domineering attitude, but it is a choice. Yes I can submit to him and I respect him, I will let him lead, and I trust him that he can able to lead our family especially in spiritual aspect.
- We allow the church to involve in our relationship. We informed them of our plans and we are accountable to them. He actually asked permission from our Senior Pastor of our plan to settle down.
- When we have conflicts we try to settle it biblically. We are open with the things that can hurt us. We share our problems and struggles. If there is one person who knows me best (other than God) it is Albert, and of course if there is one person that knows him best (other than God) it is me. We deal issues in the past in God’s terms.
- We also considered our cultural differences, he’s Chinese and I am a Filipina. Are we ready and willing to accept each other. What are the challenges that we face in an interracial marriage? These were some of the questions that we asked before saying yes to marriage. We considered our cultural and family background. I grew up in a poor family, since he is the only child, somehow he has the comfort of life. When it comes to finances we also have different views, Filipinos knew of their being extravagant, and Chinese of being thrifty. For them every centavo counts. These are just of the few cultural differences that we need to consider, we were able to carefully think the complications of our cultural background for our future together.
- Though we have the same faith. We also consider our missions and visions in life. He has a heart of sharing the Gospel, he has a calling. And so with me. We have the same desire and passion. And yes we are heading in the same direction. We have the commitment to serve the Lord the way He wants us to serve Him. I have read from boy meets girl by Joshua Harris about leaving and cleaving. It says there that leaving means you are no longer tied to the direction set by your parents and your single life and cleaving means you choose to move in the same direction as your spouse. It’s hard to be with someone who has different views with yours, for example God called you to be a missionary and then you marry someone who has no heart for that.
- Lastly, do we really want to marry each other? Why It’s not our church choice, it’s not our friend’s choice but it’s our choice to get married, of course we asked the Lord about this. We prayed for this for almost a year. Our friendship and communication grew as we wait for God’s answer to our prayer. I remember when we went in prayer mountain, I prayed to the Lord “God if this guy is not your will for me, please let him go” I surrendered him to God. His prayer was like this “Lord if she is your will for me, allow us to get married.” and God answered his prayer:)
© 2008 by jhunnelle