Reminiscing my Life as a Single Gal

I wrote this few years ago when i was struggling with my single life. It’s good I recorded those agonizing moments that I went through and the longings I had in the past . As what Jacob said in Genesis 35:3 “I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever i have gone. (NASB). This is one of the stone markers to remind me of God’s goodness. While reading this, I couldn’t help but think of  His gracious hand that brought me this far already.

To the singles out there be blessed my friend, God has a plan for your life.

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A friend once told me… the conversion goes something like this “why do I feel such loneliness, sometimes this loneliness hurts so badly… .. I’m looking for something; don’t know what is that… I want to do something else. I feel like something is missing in my life”

Another friend told me “why did loving someone so painful, I missed him so much that it hurts” loving someone especially when it’s unreciprocated love, boyy, that will indeed break your heart.
Another told me “everyone else seems to have somewhere to go, have something to enjoy, someone to go out… what seems to be wrong with us… we have the looks naman… we are Christians, we’re serving the Lord… it seems that we have been excluded… did God forget us.”

Another question “if God wants me to be single all my life, then why did He put this longing and desire in my heart to get married”

I don’t know the answer… all I know is… I’ve been through this kind of emotional conflict.

A friend of mine gave a book last year with a dedication “God knows your longings you could rest assured that “the best is yet to come…… patience is the key”…… I want to answer back… what do ya think am I doing?… it’s been a long time…. How long will I wait. You don’t know what I am going through right now.
During those times I felt so vulnerable, self-pity, resentment, anger filled my heart… I felt like God was punishing me. My heart was freezing. I want to run from life… I want to run and run and run….
But during those agonizing moments… that I felt the closeness of God, His Word became alive, my dark sides were exposed.

I learned to accept my loneliness; I know I have to go through this stage. I learned to offer all my longings, desires, dreams and plans to God. I learned to let go of the pains.I may not understand everything, I don’t need to. Some of my questions are remain unanswered until now… what I have learned was… God is God, He is all-knowing and that He knows what He’s doing. I may not see the future… but I know … He knows my future. God is too compassionate to let me suffer like that. He himself experienced loneliness, betrayal, He was rejected.. until now we are still rejecting Him…I don’t know how painful it is for Him

As Elizabeth Elliot said in one of her books “ could it be that you allow me to long to missed him because you want me to remember-to suffer me to hunger- so that I might the more fully learn to find all my satisfaction in You”
Could it be that God wants you to fully learn to find all your satisfaction in Him before giving you to that man…….

Think about it…..

© The Emissary’s Feet/The Woman Whom Jesus Loved

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2 thoughts on “Reminiscing my Life as a Single Gal

  1. This is a great post.
    I am in that `single` time right now.
    Oh I am happily married.
    But, as a SAHM I find my friends are all working, we’re down to one vehicle, so I don’t have the luxury of getting out and going places.
    However I have found this is the time God is calling me closer to Him. I’m right where God wants me to be. Although I’m alone, as I keep my focus on Him I’m not lonely.

    • thank you Michelle, just like you most of the time I’m alone but as what you’ve said being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. I’m staying in the foreign country, i only have few friends, i don’t know the language yet, but during these times that I feel so close to Him.

      Blessings!

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