Parenting scared me so much, every night I am praying to God to give me wisdom on how to do it right without breaking my children. I’m afraid I might break them instead of make them. I’ve read so many parenting books, but still I feel like, it isn’t enough. At times I feel like I’m going crazy and feel like giving up. But then I realized, they are gifts from God, the Lord sees something in me that He entrusted me these two girls.
And yes, I can not do this alone. When He gave me these children, He’s asking me to partner with Him. He didn’t just give this responsibility to me and left me figure out how to do it on my own. He is there guiding me all through my life and through the life of my children. There is no exact formula for parenting. There are methods that work for me but not for others, that’s is why parenting is by faith. By faith, that He can able to keep our children. That no matter how good our plans for our children, He has better plans for them. That no matter how good our intentions are, we still mess up and do things that we ought not to do and regret later.
Parenting is being dependent on His sovereign plan and loving care for our children. Parenting is being dependent on His wisdom, love, strength and provision. Believing that while we are doing our part He is holding us and our children, guiding us and giving us perfect peace and joy. And yes I’m not brave, I’m not superwoman, I’m not like those who seem so good at parenting. I’m not good, I’m not perfect, I’m a messy parent but one thing I’m proud of, I am dependent, dependent on the One who is Perfect. Dependent on the One who knows my children better than me.
And yes I pray that I would be able to love them unconditionally, I pray I can communicate my love in a manner they can understand. I pray that they can still feel loved and accepted even when we discipline them and I pray that the words I speak will give them life. These are hard to do and that is why I need to be dependent on Him.