LETTING GO AND GETTING OVER

It is really hard to move on especially when the one made you in pain is the one you really desire and you really love. The thoughts still keep coming back in your mind, those sweet memories together and the care he/she gave to you. But we have to accept the fact that there are things not really meant for each other.

They said for you to get over to that someone, love must be gone, and find another that would love you but I beg to disagree.

Love is not renewable, revocable or callable that you can give then later on call it back when things happen not the way you want it.

ACCEPTANCE is the best medicine to cure a wounded heart. You just have to realize the lesson brought by your past. You should not let yourself be soaked in the shadow of pain. Move on face the world.

You can also find someone you can love MORE THAN the love that you gave to the previous one. Never and never compare the current to the past coz it is unfair to the former (current)

You can only say that you’ve already moved on to that someone when you can face him/her with a smile in your face, love in your heart and the thought that you are not really meant for each other.

This piece of writing gave to me by a friend of mine. It wasn’t for me, though before I’ve been to painful relationships also. The writer is somehow right. But let me give you my piece, about letting go and getting over. Friendsters I know you guys… mending a broken right… read this….

I’ve been through a lot of painful relationships… (wow dami ha)…. I knew how it feels to be betrayed, I knew how it feels to be rejected, I knew how you feel and I understand you. It’s really painful, di ba girls… the pain seems unbearable, hatred, bitterness, love, shame, name it you have those things in your heart. You want to kill that person, you want to get even. But as Christians we should not do that. Some naman.. .keep on expecting and hoping.. they tried to be friend with their ex- bf, keep communicating….. but girl if a man told you this “let’s just be friend” give him a flying kick and black eye…that’s our normal reaction diba?, but since you’re a Christian already… just accept his friendship… but stop communicating with him or hoping that someday you will have a happy ending. Now you may disagree with that. Why did I say stop communicating with him. How can you get over if you keep on communicating with him? STOP IT, although it’s really hard, but for your own SAKE do that. After a month you will get used to that. Go out with your friends. Have fellowship. And most of all cling to God, because only HIM can give you the real security, only HIM can love you unconditionally.

Now here’s another thing that you will do. If you really heard from God that this guy is HIS will for you, then fight for him. Although he seems like he’s not worth fighting for. Fight for him because despite and in spite of what he did, still he is the best for you, If you are really sure ha, baka naman akala mo si God nag-speak sa ‘yo sarili mo pala narinig mo. Now if the guy told you that you are not the will of God for him. Then accept that with open heart, that means God prepared someone better than him.

Though you have painful experiences.. girl it’s not yet the end of the world, don’t blame yourself, don’t blame the guy and don’t blame God. Learn from your experience. What I have learned from my past relationships was… I have to wait for the lord. For almost 4 years I never dated anyone… if God says no.. then I will obey although the guy is cute.. (meron ba) hahahaha…….. I’m not getting any younger ‘no. Although loneliness is sometimes unbearable and that sometimes it makes my heart freezing.. I just bear it… I’d rather be lonely that marry someone who is not the will of God.

God naman is not sadistic that He wants to see us in pain. He knows how we feel if you haven’t received any word from God that you have a gift of singleness then, have hope, he prepared someone for you… He has prepared someone for us.. just be ready He might give you someone that is.. really really far from the man u want to marry. Atleast meron.. Atleast you know that he’s from above.. and God will not give a pirated.. He will give you the BEST…. IT IS WORTH WAITING FO

My Dating Game Ended! and I Thank God!

My 8 months dating was ended last November, God has revealed so many things about my Character after this incident. I found that when I was hurt I was a very angry person. I harbored “rights” that were not mine to hold onto. I was shocked to know how covetous I was, how prone I was to criticize and blame when I was hurt by the man I was dating.

It was an 8 month dating, we became friends, we enjoy each other, I learned to like this person and prayed for him, yeah I think I have somehow loved him. But the dating was ended when I learned that he was not ready for commitment. So I realized, what’s the use of dating or knowing each other more, if other the party was not ready for commitment. When I say commitment here It doesn’t mean that you get married soon, what I mean is your dating has a purpose. And not just dating for the sake of having someone beside you.

Somehow I got hurt, I felt used, I questioned God, I felt like he made me a promise and broken it, I felt like He gave me a toy and He takes it back when I start enjoying it. From the very first day of our dating, I told God this “Stop this dating if this guy is not your will for me” maybe God has been speaking to me but I just ignored it. I prolonged the dating game and what happened we both hurt each other.

I let go of him, knowing that’s the best for both of us. I let go of the pains and I let Him work in me. I know, only when I am completely free that I am to respond appropriately.

I submitted everything to Him. Instead of dictating the specifics, I let him choose for me. I decided to place my faith in who He is, and what His word promises.

I praise God, because I thought it will take me a month to totally let go but it took me 3 days only, God made it easy for me maybe because He knew that what I really wanted was not to be committed to someone but to do what is in my heart.

God has been dealing me in different areas in preparation for my mate. Even my old baggage from childhood was brought to my attention. One thing for sure God is preparing me for that day when I will be delivered to the person that He has prepared for me. He’s doing a work of perfection in me. He wants to be glorified through our lives as couple. I know what happened was not the end but just a delay. I don’t know who that guy is, maybe I have met him already, maybe I will still meet him, maybe he’s just around the corner and maybe he still in the other side of the worldJ well, God will orchestrate everything.

For now, I will concentrate on the things that God wants me to do. I am free now and I am willing to go where God wants me to go even being out of my comfort zone, willing do to do the things that God wants me to do. And now He’s opening doors for me.

© 2008 by jhunnelle

 

 

Move On

Yes all the pieces fit. You have so much in common, you’re comfortable with each other, you and he are good friends. You have the same passion “serving the Lord”. You’re pretty sure you’ve received the all clear signal in your spirit this is “the one” and that you’re the missing rib from this man’s side. So there you sit, full of love and hope for this newfound relationship.


But when you talk about commitment, he seems not ready about it. Hearing this word seems give him anxieties, panic setting in, fears and questions coming. There you are sitting peacefully but the person besides you seem panicking when you talk about commitment.


Then the last thing that you heard was “I’m not ready for commitment, can we just be friends, that’s not my priority right now”


Ouch, now what should be your response “I hate you, get lost, of all the things that I’ve done……, or Pls. don’t leave me…..” none of the above.


It’s really rather simple, but it will work in your favor. Take a deep breath and quietly say, “Well, if you really think that’s the best, okay.”


Don’t sit around wasting your time in quiet desperation, waiting for him to text you, call you, email you. Guard your heart for bitterness and hatred, although it’s natural to feel that way, run to your FATHER, although He knows what’s happening, it’s better if you pour out everything to Him, tell Him what’s in your heart. Let Him embrace you and hug. Let Him dry your tears. Let Him take all the bitterness and hatred.

Breaking-up is painful especially for ladies,. It’s okey to cry, it’s okey to be vulnerable. In times like this it’s crucial to review the promises of God. If it is God’s will, it will happen! If it is not God’s will, it’s better for you to find out early so you will be ready and free to receive the person that God has chosen for you.

As what they usually advise “if you love him set him free, if people are meant to be in our lives they will return of their own volition”


 

Cheers, meanwhile, enjoy and embrace your being single until love finds you. I’m talking about the person that God has chosen for you.

Lord Help me to Forget

It’s really hard to fall in love with the person who doesn’t even care about you or you don’t know if he has feelings the same as yours. It’s really hard to fall in love with your friend who only treats you as a friend. It’s really hard to continue loving a person whom you know that he loves someone else.

I know someone who has this struggle… so many times that she prayed honestly to take away the desire to be with him. The affection is terribly painful. No matter how busy she was, she’s still ache in her heart.

Sometimes I truly asked God, why all these things happening. Why not if this guy is not His will for her, why not the feelings just disappear? Why not God just simply eradicate the desire and the pain.

But I am asking for an easy road. Everything that happened in a person’s life has a purpose.

Could it be that God is dealing something in your life? Could it be that He is teaching you to pray like Him “ Thy will be done Father.” Is it a sin to say “thy will be done” but deep down in your heart you want your will to be happened.

But you see, if you love a person, even if you don’t want to do what he wants you to do, you will do that, because you love him, you prefer to do what he wants rather than what pleases you.

The same way with the LORD, you can honestly say “Lord I want my will to be done but since I love you, I prefer or decide to do what pleases you”

Quoted from Elizabeth Elliot diary, written during those waiting time… “Does the fact that I do not forget Jim indicate that God does not want me to, or is it my own unwillingness to forget that has kept God from answering my prayer to that end? Or does He want me to remember – to “suffer me to hunger” so that I might the more fully learn to find all my satisfaction in Him?… Can it be that by a show of what Paul calls “will worship” I should crush the bud of a flower of God creation? I know no prayer other than Thy will be done”

I’ve learned to submit to the authority of Christ all my yearnings, desires and passions. I’ve learned to say “thy will be done LORD” even it means sacrifice and pain in my part. But when you say “YES” to God He will always leads in the end to joy. We can bank HIM on that.

Yearnings, passions, desires are always there, may it be yearning to settle down, desire to be with the person you love, yearning to work abroad, yearning to have the promises of God fulfilled. Whatever it is, there are there to be offered to God. These things should be controlled, should be offered and should be submitted to HIM, rather than eradicate.

© 2008 by jhunnelle