He Cares, indeed He does

You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians and how I bore you on eagles’ wings, and brought you to myself. Exodus 19:4

This verse just reminds me of God’s presence, protection and provision. He is a personal God, He cares, indeed He does, although sometimes I feel like He’s unreachable. He’s not far, He’s so near and He’s with me each step of my way.

When it seems like I can no longer put one foot in front of the other, I have the assurance that the Father will carry me like an eagle carries his young of his wings.

Oftentimes what I need is a reminder and not instruction.

Thank you Father for reminding me once again of your great love. Thank you for you are a personal God, wanting to become intimate with your children. Thank you for the assurance that you’re always there even when the journey becomes bumpy. 

In My Desperation…

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In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles. Psalm 34:6

Father help me to focus my heart and thoughts to you and in you alone. Calm my mind and help me to concentrate and listen to your voice. I cannot do it alone. Let me hear you and you alone

In me there is darkness but with you there is light. In me there is restlessness but with you there is peace.
In me there is loneliness but with you there is fullness of joy
In me there is helplessness but with you there is strength.
In me there is hastiness but with you there is patience.
In me there is foolishness but with you there is wisdom.
In me there is doubtfulness but with you there is faith.
In me there is bitterness but with you there is love.
In me there is selfishness but with you there is freedom.
In me there is limitation but with you everything is possible.
In me there is greediness but with you there is satisfaction.
I don’t understand your ways but you know the way for me and that way is perfect.

Oh Father, Restore me the liberty and enable me to live one day at a time. And whatever this day may bring. May I always glorify you.

Amen!

Linked with Word Filled Wednesday

Thankful Thursday

Few days ago negative emotions were flooding me, i kept on grumbling, petty stuff irritated me. I couldn’t see anything good. I suddenly became dissatisfied with everything. I felt so tired all the time, I couldn’t sleep. I guess I was experiencing some sort of depression.

I thank the Father for exposing what’s in my heart, the problem was not in my circumstances instead, it’s with my soul. Discontentment was eating me up. I wasn’t contented with what He’s giving. My selfish desires overpowered me. I wasn’t trusting Him with my future.

I thank Him for reminding me once again that I must trust Him completely and believe that He will give what I need the most since He loves me completely and unconditionally.

If God hadn’t been there for me, I never would have made it. The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up. Psalms 94:17-19~The Message

Join the Thankful Bloggers at Grace Alone for the month of June.

Blessings!

Word Filled Wednesday – Enough


Sometimes we get weary, sometimes the weight of the world seems so heavy to carry. We feel weighted down, we feel confused, we feel discouraged, we feel hopeless. And we want to shout “ENNNNOUUGGGHHHH”.

Jesus said in John 16:33, I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart? I have overcome the world.

 “What will we do when hopelessness attacks? Focus, focus on Jesus. Believe and keep faithful to His Word, to His promises. It’s time for us to turn away from our troubles and accept the peace that only Him can bring.”

“Lord, whatever I am going through right now, I offer that to you. I choose to focus unto you alone. I will not focus on my troubles but I will focus in You alone, knowing that you alone can bring real peace.”

Check out Internet Cafe Devotions for more WFW.


Let Your Mate Find you in Eden

Sharing what I’ve written on my journal way back when I was still single, reading this made me realize how God is faithful and true to His promises. He met my longings and desires in the right time.

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I was with my single friends last night. We went to Mcdo after the service. We’re having so much fun, till the topic shifted to “marriage”. It’s singles favorite topic. One sister mentioned about the book that she read. According to the author “God will only give you a husband when you don’t need a husband anymore” it sounded illogical, and un biblical for me. What the use of getting married if i don’t need a husband anymore. But the author just simply mean, marriage will not make you complete. We often thought that having someone beside us will make us happy, whole and complete. Many singles nowadays felt like there’s something missing, that they need someone to complete them. It’s actually the lie of the enemy to make the singles desperate, lonely, unfulfilled, unloved.

We were not created to complete another but to complement. As what I’ve read “Completion is Jesus’ responsibility and complementing is a woman’s privilege. A woman not complete in Jesus will be a drain on her husband. Such a woman will expect her husband to fill the gap that only Jesus can fill”

I’ve read stories like, they met their husbands when they were self-satisfied, happy single. I thank God for not allowing me to get married when I most longing and desiring for it. I realized now why God didn’t answer my prayers,though i fasted, i went to prayer mountain so many times, i spilled hundred litters of tears(exaggerated), just for God to hear my plea, but until now, I’ve gotten no answer. I only realized now that God wants me to enjoy now the things that I can’t do when I am married. God is giving me the chance to pursue my other dreams. He doesn’t want me to have life after marriage but even now He wants me to enjoy instead of making sorry for myself.

If you wait to live until that “shining armour” will come, girl you’ll find yourself someday sitting around saying ” If only I could, I should, I would.”

Enjoy life now, let your mate find you in Eden, enjoying yourself and your life. Let him see you fulfilled, complete, whole and ready.

Incompleteness is not the result of being single, but not being full of Jesus.

Get involved especially in your church.

entry made on March 2008

© The Emissary’s Feet

MY BESTFRIEND

I found a friend. He is a good conversationalist. He is tender, compassionate, warm, loving, consistent, generous, a good listener, such a wonderful friend. When He promised, He will surely fulfill it.

I am sure He will never condemn me. He knows everything in me, my deepest secret my worst sin. He knows the beat of my heart. Just the look at me he knew already why I am crying, why I am sad, why I am angry. We argue a lot but I never win, because He knows what is best for me. He never manipulated me. He has given me the free will. When my wallet is empty I will run to Him. He provides for my needs even for my wants. He makes me smile when my face becomes ugly. When my day is so stressful, He reminds me that I need a break and He wants to have coffee with me.

When everything seems in chaos, He whispers to me saying everything will be alright as long as He’s on my side. He understands me when I messed up. But he corrects me in a very nice way.  His embrace makes me warm. When I can’t sleep and I need someone to talk to, he doesn’t’ even mind even if we talk the whole night.

He doesn’t’ care being with me in the grocery, in the Church, in the park, in the beach, when I cross the street, everywhere I go he also wants to be there.

He has all the time when it comes to me. My friend’s name is “JESUS”

He can be your friend too, just invite Him in your life and ask Him to be your friend. I’m sure He will be excited accepting you as His best friend

© The Emissary’s Feet

Reminiscing my Life as a Single Gal

I wrote this few years ago when i was struggling with my single life. It’s good I recorded those agonizing moments that I went through and the longings I had in the past . As what Jacob said in Genesis 35:3 “I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever i have gone. (NASB). This is one of the stone markers to remind me of God’s goodness. While reading this, I couldn’t help but think of  His gracious hand that brought me this far already.

To the singles out there be blessed my friend, God has a plan for your life.

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A friend once told me… the conversion goes something like this “why do I feel such loneliness, sometimes this loneliness hurts so badly… .. I’m looking for something; don’t know what is that… I want to do something else. I feel like something is missing in my life”

Another friend told me “why did loving someone so painful, I missed him so much that it hurts” loving someone especially when it’s unreciprocated love, boyy, that will indeed break your heart.
Another told me “everyone else seems to have somewhere to go, have something to enjoy, someone to go out… what seems to be wrong with us… we have the looks naman… we are Christians, we’re serving the Lord… it seems that we have been excluded… did God forget us.”

Another question “if God wants me to be single all my life, then why did He put this longing and desire in my heart to get married”

I don’t know the answer… all I know is… I’ve been through this kind of emotional conflict.

A friend of mine gave a book last year with a dedication “God knows your longings you could rest assured that “the best is yet to come…… patience is the key”…… I want to answer back… what do ya think am I doing?… it’s been a long time…. How long will I wait. You don’t know what I am going through right now.
During those times I felt so vulnerable, self-pity, resentment, anger filled my heart… I felt like God was punishing me. My heart was freezing. I want to run from life… I want to run and run and run….
But during those agonizing moments… that I felt the closeness of God, His Word became alive, my dark sides were exposed.

I learned to accept my loneliness; I know I have to go through this stage. I learned to offer all my longings, desires, dreams and plans to God. I learned to let go of the pains.I may not understand everything, I don’t need to. Some of my questions are remain unanswered until now… what I have learned was… God is God, He is all-knowing and that He knows what He’s doing. I may not see the future… but I know … He knows my future. God is too compassionate to let me suffer like that. He himself experienced loneliness, betrayal, He was rejected.. until now we are still rejecting Him…I don’t know how painful it is for Him

As Elizabeth Elliot said in one of her books “ could it be that you allow me to long to missed him because you want me to remember-to suffer me to hunger- so that I might the more fully learn to find all my satisfaction in You”
Could it be that God wants you to fully learn to find all your satisfaction in Him before giving you to that man…….

Think about it…..

© The Emissary’s Feet/The Woman Whom Jesus Loved

My Longing Few Years Ago

I was checking and reading again my journals which some of those I posted on my old blog, and I found this. Wow I couldn’t remember that I wrote this few years ago, but look at me now I am married. I didn’t know that few months after this God will answer my prayer, so to the singles out there, keep on praying and waiting. God knows the desire and longings of your heart. This makes me laugh, couldn’t even remember the feelings anymore.

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Another month has passed. Recently I’ve been going through some emotional roller coaster. I turned 32 this year, I thank God for allowing me to reach this age but on the other side I was a bit frustrated, because my birthday reminded me once again of my unanswered prayer. It’s been ten years now since I seriously prayed for that. I prayed for a partner in life. I don’t know His reason why until now it remains unanswered. I never had a serious relationship (when I say serious, no one really asked me seriously the words “Will you marry me (lol))

Sometimes I thought of maybe I have the gift of single blessedness, right now I am single, I am not dating anyone and I can’t see anyone who wants to date me (lol)…

A Pastor once said this “ As a young lady what you can do is to position yourself in the church, that means you have to join ministries like young adults or single’s ministry. I am actively involved in our Church. But still no one noticed me. (lol) I checked the way I dress, I think I dressed appropriately. I check my hygiene, Oh boy I brush my teeth 3 or 4 times a day, I used floss and mouthwash (lol), I take a bath everyday. And yes sometimes, I asked the Lord, what’s wrong with me. Am I ugly, I think I am beautiful (LOL), maybe the best guy for me isn’t born yet( lol), or maybe he’s dead (lol). Or maybe I am not yet ready to get married. Yeh I think I am not yet ready.

When will I get ready? I don’t know really. God knows, when. And God knows if I have the gift of single blessedness . Honestly sometimes I felt desperate. But I thank God for He always remind me that “I am a whole person” and I don’t need someone to tell me “You complete me” (lol) Jerry Maguire

For the past ten years I’ve been insisting on the things that I wanted. I wanted God to answer my prayers based on my standards. I was too self-centered and focused on what I wanted. I stubbornly ignore the voice of the Lord and insist my own reasoning. I ignored the things that God wants me to settle, to give up, to let go. All this time I thought that I gave God the driver’s seat. Yes, I gave the driver’s seat but deep down in my heart I was murmuring, I was complaining, I was dictating, I was ungrateful, sometimes I want to rebel against Him.

I really don’t know when will God answer my prayer. It’s up to him, I no longer focus on that instead I want to do the things that God wants me to do. I will seek and seek and seek more of His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto me. Is God selfish, absolutely not, it’s in my best interest to seek His will first. I’ll start pursuing some of the wonderful things that God put in my heart.

It’s no longer my problem if the right man will come on my way, it’s no longer my problem if I will be single forever, it’s God’s problem. Understanding God’s will or God’s best for us is sometimes difficult

What I learned through the years is that, time and time again God will show you that He is in control of everything, sometimes you can’t see Him working but He is indeed working. And that no matter how you try to go to the opposite direction. He will always put you on the road where He wants you to go. If we continue to be stubborn, it will just take a longer time for us to get to where God wants us to be.

I no longer want to wrestle with God. All I want now is for Him to hold my hand and for me to follow His lead.

written under “the woman whom Jesus loved” blog

© The Emissary’s Feet