Feeling Spiritually Dry

IMG_1800

Before, I thought that a season of dry spell in our Christian walk is not from God. I thought when we feel dry in our spiritual life  it is either  the attack of the enemy or we are not spending enough time with The Lord.

IMG_0992

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, there is an appointed time for everything. If the Lord authors wet seasons, He also plans dry spells.

Dry season is the time when your spiritual life is so dull, you feel like you are just going to the motions. There is no excitement, the joy you once experienced seems hard to find. When you read your Bible, the pages seem blank. The songs that you loved to sing no longer touch your heart. Prayer becomes boring. Fellowship no longer excites you.

This is the time when you’re not satisfied with just reading your bible, you want more, you want fresh revelations. This is the time when you don’t know what to pray anymore , you want your prayer to be more than asking. This is the time when you question yourself, what if there will be no band playing in the church, what if there will be no choir, what if no one is leading the praise and worship. What if we just let the Holy Spirit leads the church. What would possibly happen? Will I still cry when I sing, can I still dance or raise my hands. This is the time when you want a genuine community, that meeting once or twice a week isn’t enough for you, you want more than just chatting during Sundays, you want a real community who cares for each other, who cares for the needs of each member. A community who treats each other like family.

IMG_1185I’ve been a Christian for more than 20 years and been into so many dry spells. However it was during this time that I felt so broken and needed The Lord most. It was during this time that I learned things I never learned during wet seasons. It was during this season that I became deep spiritually and I grew tremendously during dry spells. God breathed new life on the things that were dead. It was during this time that the Lord birthed new things in me.

Dry spell is God’s way of saying to us. I am with you during good times. I am also with you during dry times. This is also a time when our loyalty to The Lord is being tested. “Do  we only want Him during wet seasons, when the river runs dry, do we still want the Giver? When the blessings are running out, do we still find ourselves loyal to  the God of blessing? This is the time when The Lord wants to put to death things so that He can resurrect them in the way He wants.

This might be a time to die,

A time to uproot,

A time to tear down,

A time to weep,

time to mourn,

time to embrace or shun embracing,

time to search or time to give up,

time to throw away,

time to tear apart,

time to be silent.

IMG_1355

What do we do during this season? Embrace it, walk through it, it will come to pass, The Lord brings them, he eventually removes them. Patience, perseverance, that’s what you need. Don’t harden your heart. He is with you.

 

Here I am

Photobucket

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.”

Isaiah 6:8

Father, I sometimes haven’t noticed that I am again trying to run my life, you know carrying my burdens without passing to you. Worrying too much where in fact there’s no need to worry at all. Planning on my own without even asking you. I sometimes force what I want and try to influence you in following me.

And yes by doing that I am struggling and losing my joy and peace. Ah, when can I learn? Why can’t i just accept that my life is better when I let you run it, that you know the way better and that i will reach my destination successfully and safely if I will you let you lead.

So again Lord, today I will let you take the lead. My life is yours, I am yours, do what you please and I hope I like what you choose or do for me but if ever i don’t, give me the willingness to accept it with joy, that your will may be done in my life.

Amen!

 Linking up with Internet Cafe Devotions for Word-Filled Wednesday and My Daily Walk with His Grace for Winsome Wednesday.

In My Desperation…

Photobucket

In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles. Psalm 34:6

Father help me to focus my heart and thoughts to you and in you alone. Calm my mind and help me to concentrate and listen to your voice. I cannot do it alone. Let me hear you and you alone

In me there is darkness but with you there is light. In me there is restlessness but with you there is peace.
In me there is loneliness but with you there is fullness of joy
In me there is helplessness but with you there is strength.
In me there is hastiness but with you there is patience.
In me there is foolishness but with you there is wisdom.
In me there is doubtfulness but with you there is faith.
In me there is bitterness but with you there is love.
In me there is selfishness but with you there is freedom.
In me there is limitation but with you everything is possible.
In me there is greediness but with you there is satisfaction.
I don’t understand your ways but you know the way for me and that way is perfect.

Oh Father, Restore me the liberty and enable me to live one day at a time. And whatever this day may bring. May I always glorify you.

Amen!

Linked with Word Filled Wednesday

Let Your Mate Find you in Eden

Sharing what I’ve written on my journal way back when I was still single, reading this made me realize how God is faithful and true to His promises. He met my longings and desires in the right time.

__________________________________________________

I was with my single friends last night. We went to Mcdo after the service. We’re having so much fun, till the topic shifted to “marriage”. It’s singles favorite topic. One sister mentioned about the book that she read. According to the author “God will only give you a husband when you don’t need a husband anymore” it sounded illogical, and un biblical for me. What the use of getting married if i don’t need a husband anymore. But the author just simply mean, marriage will not make you complete. We often thought that having someone beside us will make us happy, whole and complete. Many singles nowadays felt like there’s something missing, that they need someone to complete them. It’s actually the lie of the enemy to make the singles desperate, lonely, unfulfilled, unloved.

We were not created to complete another but to complement. As what I’ve read “Completion is Jesus’ responsibility and complementing is a woman’s privilege. A woman not complete in Jesus will be a drain on her husband. Such a woman will expect her husband to fill the gap that only Jesus can fill”

I’ve read stories like, they met their husbands when they were self-satisfied, happy single. I thank God for not allowing me to get married when I most longing and desiring for it. I realized now why God didn’t answer my prayers,though i fasted, i went to prayer mountain so many times, i spilled hundred litters of tears(exaggerated), just for God to hear my plea, but until now, I’ve gotten no answer. I only realized now that God wants me to enjoy now the things that I can’t do when I am married. God is giving me the chance to pursue my other dreams. He doesn’t want me to have life after marriage but even now He wants me to enjoy instead of making sorry for myself.

If you wait to live until that “shining armour” will come, girl you’ll find yourself someday sitting around saying ” If only I could, I should, I would.”

Enjoy life now, let your mate find you in Eden, enjoying yourself and your life. Let him see you fulfilled, complete, whole and ready.

Incompleteness is not the result of being single, but not being full of Jesus.

Get involved especially in your church.

entry made on March 2008

© The Emissary’s Feet

I Have Dreams, How About You?

DREAMS? Honestly I’m scared of dreaming, and yes I do have dreams but so afraid to share. I know many of us have been scared to dream, simply because we don’t want to be disappointed if those dreams or desires go unfulfilled, on the other hand, not being willing to dream makes us settle for less, makes us unproductive, makes us live but not fully alive. Many of my dreams are remain unfulfilled. As I reviewing my journal I came to a part where I wrote these things “Lord, if I will give up these dreams, I will be dead” Dreaming gives me hope, dreaming makes my heart fully alive and kicking and yes my dreams sometimes disappoint me and hurt me. But I still want to dream.

Here are some of my unrealized and realized dreams:

  • To be married, have a family and be a strong support to my husband in his calling.
  • To be the wife and mother that God wants me to be
  • For my family to come to Christ. I want to see them in Heaven
  • To preach and teach God’s love and God’s grace to the whole world. To see people come to Christ and to see them and the church grow and grow in the knowledge of His love, of His will of His grace and of His Word.
  • To have such an intimate walk with God, receiving His love in such a powerful way, that all my life is strengthened with joy and peace no matter the trials I might be walking through- this is ongoing, every day with Jesus is closer than the day before.
  • To put up an orphanage.

These are my dreams. I believe that it is God’s pleasure to see our dreams realized as long as those dreams will glorify Him. He doesn’t want us to settle for mediocrity. He doesn’t want us to grow old and let go of our dreams.

Some of our dreams are selfish dreams, dreams that we know cannot glorify Him, let go of those dreams. But you have dreams that God has placed in your heart, hold on to those dreams. WE SERVE A GOD WHO LOVES FULFILLING BIG DREAMS.

So my friend, take some time to talk to God about those dreams and do some lists of dreams that God has placed in your heart.

I do not want to die… until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown. Kathe Kollwitz


© The Woman Whom Jesus Loved

LORD, CAN YOU CARRY ME?

Lord, I feel tired tonight. 

The worries and cares of this world
seem like too heavy to carry.

I’ve got so much in mind

Questions that are unanswered.

I want to see my future,
but I know I can’t.

Lord, I know that loneliness
is not from you.

But sometimes I feel that way,

Maybe because I entertain him,
when he knocks.

Lord, I know that no one can
help me except You.

That’s why I say Lord,

Can you get the heaviness in my heart.

Lord, I surrender them all to you.

I don’t wanna carry them,
because i can’t bear the heaviness

Lord, I just want to rest in your arms.

Lord, I just want to feel your embrace.

Lord, can I cry once again in your shoulder.

Lord, can you wipe again my tears.

Lord, can you carry me once again.

Lord I want to sleep in your presence.

Knowing that tomorrow,
You will wake me up with a smile in your face.

And so, i say

My soul finds rest in You alone;
my salvation comes from you.
You alone is my rock and my salvation;
You are my fortress, I will never be shaken.(Ps.62:1)

© 2008 by jhunnelle

ARE YOU LONELY TONIGHT?

A friend once told me… the conversion goes something like this “ why do I feel such loneliness, sometimes this loneliness hurts so badly… .. I’m looking for something, don’t know what is that… I want to do something else. I feel like something is missing in my life”

Another friend told me “why did loving someone so painful, I missed him so much that it hurts” loving someone especially when it’s unreciprocated love, boy that will indeed break your heart.

Another told me “everyone else seems to have somewhere to go, have something to enjoy, someone to go out… what seems to be wrong with us… we have the looks naman… we are Christians, we’re serving the Lord… it seems that we have been excluded… did God forget us.”

Another question “if God wants me to be single all my life, then why did He put this longing and desire in my heart to get married”

I don’t know the answer… all I know is… I’ve been through this kind of emotional conflict.

A friend of mine gave a book last year with a dedication “God knows your longings you could rest assured that “the best is yet to come…… patience is the key”…… I want to answer back… what do ya think am I doing?… it’s been a long time…. How long will I wait. You don’t know what I am going trough right now.

During those times I felt so vulnerable, self pity, resentment, anger filled my heart… I felt like God was punishing me. My heart was freezing. I want to run from life… I want to run and run and run….

But during those agonizing moments… that I felt the closeness of God, His Word became alive, my dark sides were exposed.

I learned to accept my loneliness, I know I have to go through this stage. I learned to offer all my longings, desires, dreams plans to God. I learned to let go of the pains.

I may not understand everything, I don’t need to. Some of my questions are remain unanswered until now… what I have learned was… God is God, He is all knowing and that He knows what He’s doing.

I may not see the future… but I know … He knows my future. God is too compassionate to let me suffer like that. He himself experienced loneliness, betrayal, He was rejected.. until now we are still rejecting Him…I don’t know how painful it is for Him

As Elizabeth Elliot said in one of her books “ could it be that you allow me to long to missed him because you want me to remember-to suffer me to hunger- so that I might the more fully learn to find all my satisfaction in You”

Could it be that God wants you to fully learn to find all your satisfaction in Him before giving you to that man…….

Think about it…..

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR YEARNINGS, PASSIONS AND DESIRES

It’s really hard to fall in love with the person who doesn’t even care about you or you don’t know if he has feelings the same as yours. It’s really hard to fall in love with your friend who only treats you as a friend. It’s really hard to continue loving a person whom you know that he loves someone else.

I know someone who has this struggle… so many times that she prayed honestly to take away the desire to be with him. The affection is terribly painful. No matter how busy she was, she’s still ache in her heart.

Sometimes I truly asked God, why all these things happening. Why not if this guy is not His will for her, why not the feelings just disappear? Why not God just simply eradicate the desire and the pain.

But I am asking for an easy road. Everything that happened in a person’s life has a purpose.

Could it be that God is dealing something in your life? Could it be that He is teaching you to pray like Him “ Thy will be done Father.” Is it a sin to say “thy will be done” but deep down in your heart you want your will to be happened.

But you see, if you love a person, even if you don’t want to do what he wants you to do, you will do that, because you love him, you prefer to do what he wants rather than what pleases you.

The same way with the LORD, you can honestly say “Lord I want my will to be done but since I love you, I prefer or decide to do what pleases you”

Quoted fro Elizabeth Elliot diary, written during those waiting time… “Does the fact that I do not forget Jim indicate that God does not want me to, or is it my own unwillingness to forget that has kept God from answering my prayer to that end? Or does He want me to remember – to “suffer me to hunger” so that I might the more fully learn to find all my satisfaction in Him?… Can it be that by a show of what Paul calls “will worship” I should crush the bud of a flower of God creation? I know no prayer other than Thy will be done”

I’ve learned to submit to the authority of Christ all my yearnings, desires and passions. I’ve learned to say “thy will be done LORD” even it means sacrifice and pain in my part. But when you say “YES” to God He will always leads in the end to joy. We can bank HIM on that.

Yearnings, passions, desires are always there, may it be yearning to settle down, desire to be with the person you love, yearning to work abroad, yearning to have the promises of God fulfilled. Whatever it is, there are there to be offered to God. These things should be controlled, should be offered and should be submitted to HIM, rather than eradicate.