Multitudes on Mondays

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Brokenness, the more I feel and see how broken I am, the more I cling to The Lord.

A gentle reminder from Him to live for the present and not for the future.

The gift of “now” reminding myself to live in the present is somehow giving me peace and rest.

Grace, everyday is grace from God, no matter how imperfect life may be, my ability to go through with life is grace from Him

My mess, shouting at my children, trying to manipulate them, choosing anger instead of understanding.  I’m not proud of those, yes Lord I need you more, and thank You for changing me each day.

Thank You for allowing me to grow as a mother to my children and wife to my husband.

Thank you Holy Spirit for rebuking me and allowing me to repent. Remind me always not to do it again and if ever I slip again, may you not get tired of pulling me up. May you soften my heart that I may repent hastily

Thankful for the rain, it seldom rains here.

Thankful for the air was good  and we were able to go out.

Today the weather isn’t that hot, I’m thankful for that.

Thankful for the book I’m reading “Letters to Young Pastor” by Calvin Miller

Thankful for the coffee every day.

Grateful…yes I am

Thankful for allowing me to be in this situation, I have learned to appreciate the things I took for granted in the past. You’ve taught me to enjoy and appreciate every season of  life, i wish I’ve realized that before.

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Thank you for allowing me to accept our current situation.

Thank you for the healthy, fresh and abundant food we are eating everyday.

Thank you for letting me lose some pounds.

Thank you for we are all well.

Thank you for letting my two year old daughter sang God is good all the time and you are my hiding place, during the times that I felt low. The songs reminded me of your goodness and faithfulness, no matter what we are into, the fact remains, you are good and faithful.

Thank for paying our expenses.

Thank you for giving my husband the wisdom on how to handle money. I don’t need to tell everything but you know what I meant.

Thank you for the book I’m reading, the book speaks to me and I know it’s you who’s speaking you’re just using the book.

Thank you for letting me feel hopeful today.

Have I told you before how much I’m thankful for the house we are staying, I thought it’s not your will for us to stay in this house, I realized it was also part of your plan, what if we are renting while Albert has no job we would be spending a lot without any income, thank you so much

Thank you for helping me not to desire clothes, shoes and other material things. I’m really thankful that you are meeting our needs. Right now I’m no longer asking for the things we don’t need.

Thank you for teaching me to live simply, and teaching me to set aside my wants.

Thank you for teaching me to appreciate even the smallest things, like the toothpaste, brush, floss, soap, etc.

Thank you for we can still use internet.

Thank you for teaching me through my children. They are happy because their needs are being met. They don’t need new clothes to be happy, they don’t new toys to be happy. As long as we are here with them, as long as they have enough food. You know, we’re able to meet their needs. You are teaching me to be like them, as long as you are with me I should be happy, and as long as you’re with me my needs are being met.

Thank you for teaching me that you alone is the true source of joy.

Thank you for reminding me everyday that I’m a work in progress and i don’t need to be stressed. I’m still messing up, I shout at my kids, my husband and I argue from time to time.

But most of all thank you for your mercy, grace and love, they are new every morning

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO MY DEAR HUBBY

Thank you Father for My Dear Husband who

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does the household chores like, cooking and sometimes washing the dishes, while I’m taking care of our daughter

comes home everyday and for always being there when we need him

handles the finances well and for being hardworking .

who’d rather stay with his family than anywhere else.

isn’t materialistic

lives a simple life.

prioritizes his family

loves to spend  time with his family

desires to please You and loves You above all else

who finds confident in You.

To my husband, you are a blessing to us. “I have the highest confidence in you, and I take great pride in you. You have greatly encouraged me and made me happy despite all our troubles”. 2 Corinthians 7:4 (NLT)

Happy Father’s Day!

This post This post has been submitted to this week’s Gratitude post with Ann Voskamp and to Thankful Thursday with Iris.

Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary

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Yesterday Albert and I celebrated our 3 years of marriage, time flies so quickly. I still can’t quite believe it’s been 3 years. Honestly those three years were not always blissful. Oh yes, we had countless fight and misunderstanding. We thank God indeed for His grace, He never gave up on us. It’s His grace that accompany us to the challenges of marriagehood. I’ve learned so much from this marriage and still discovering a lot of things. Indeed through this marriage He is making us more and more like Him.

Two years ago, I wrote this on my journal, I just want to share it here.

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When I was single there were a lot of things I wrongly believed about marriage  which I only realize now. We have heard some couples saying I couldn’t ask for more. This guy completes me, as if they are saying that marriage is the place where your longings, unhappiness, your dreams needs are being met. Well i think most of the singles out there believe that way too. Maybe that’s the reason why a lot of singles are unhappy of their present status because they thought that marriage can make them happy and complete. One thing that I’ve learned marriage  is not a place where we can get all our needs met , either a place where we can get complete happiness.

God did not design marriage that way. Marriage is a place where He can make us more and more like Him. There were times that i was disappointed, frustrated and betrayed. Why, because I’m trying  to let my spouse meet my needs, marriage for me is something like “I, me and myself” it is about myself, my needs being met, my expectations being satisfied, my laws being obeyed, this is how i view marriage till the Holy Spirit opened my eyes one day and he made me realize that marriage is being selfless, it is about meeting other’s need instead of my needs, it is about being broken to self and broken in the sight of God, it is the place where God exposed my selfishness, my pride and taught me humility, selflessness, unity, service, submission and teamwork, it’s a bit hard though. From time to time there is still that battle waging inside of me. It is His grace that accompany me to the challenges of marriagehood if not for that I might not make it

Marriage is a place where He is conforming the couples to His likeness. It is not a place where our needs met because only Him can do that. Marriage can be much fulfilling if we view it the way God views it, that is, a place where we can be like Him, a place where we can show Christ’s love by doing what the scriptures say about how we can love and honor our spouse.

Thankful Thursday

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Another day has passed, yesterday I was thinking about my life. Honestly I feel like I am not doing anything worthy. I am “just” a stay-at-home mom and wife.

I’ve been struggling lately, I always lose my temper.  I get easily irritated  with small things. I feel like I couldn’t do anything other than watching my daughter. I don’t even have time for myself.  I am losing my patience and temper and definitely not proud of it. I want to be creative in our time together but my mind seems no longer functioning. I couldn’t thing of any.

Could it be because I am pregnant again or maybe I am not stay at home material mom.

Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter, she’s definitely the most charismatic baby I have ever seen, she smiles at anyone. She smiles and talks most of the time. I love being able to teach her and see all the ways she’s growing up. However I feel like lately, I’m not good enough for her.

I remember what the Israelites said to Moses in Numbers 21:5, when they get tired of eating manna, they complained “there is nothing to eat here and nothing to drink. And we hate this horrible manna.”

Am I becoming like the Israelites? Getting tired of what I’m doing and want to do other things?

Oh Lord, forgive me for grumbling, forgive me for thinking this way. Help me to embrace the life you’ve given me and be satisfied with what I have and doing now. Help me to live a life to the fullest.

Today I am thankful for the following

#31- 36 years of existence

#32- my daughter turned one year old last month

#33-my second pregnancy

#34- was able to visit my country and hometown.

#35- the time we spent with my family.

#36-mother-in-law who’s helping us.

#37-husband who is hardworking and thrifty.

#38-spending time in prayer every morning with my husband.

#39-daughter who smiles to anyone.

#40- a new apartment to stay.

This post This post has been submitted to the week’s Gratitude post with Ann Voskampand to Thankful Thursday with Laura.

My Daughter is Going to be a Big Sister

Yes, I am not joking:) She is going to be a big sister, I’m going to be a mother for the second time and my husband is going to be a father for the second time too:) Isn’t that wonderful? My husband is so excited it’s the answer to his prayer, before I became pregnant he kept on telling me, let’s have another one, but I kept on telling him, not now maybe when our daughter reaches two years old but the Father favored him:). I’m little nervous though, I was in labor with my first for 10 1/2 hours and worst pushing for 10 hours long, oh yeah believe it or not I did that for 10 hours and that’s still fresh in my mind, nevertheless I am excited. 

I am seven weeks now. It’s pretty hard though, couldn’t eat much, i feel sick everyday and I’m still breastfeeding my baby.

Ahh thank you Father for the gift of motherhood

Thank You Father for the Gift of Motherhood

(her name is Bethany which means daughter of the Lord, my hubby chose the name)

It’s been 2 weeks now since our little angel arrived; our life has changed tremendously, particularly my life. We are indeed blessed, having a baby can be both exhilarating and exhausting, but the joy that she’s giving us is indescribable.

I want to say thank you to those who prayed for us. Indeed our Father is an answering God.  When the doctor told us that the amniotic fluid was less than normal and there might be complications if I will have a normal delivery, in short he wanted me to have a C-Section, we told him we will think about it. My husband and I prayed about it, our friends here were also interceding for us and I know my friends on FB were also praying for us, God gave us peace after praying. We have the impression that the Father wanted me to have a normal delivery as we have been praying so waited for it to happen,  I was admitted January 31, my labor started at 10:30 pm the following day, I gave birth February 2 which was my expected due date, 8:45 am, to a healthy baby girl, 3190 grams (7 lbs).

We’re humbled by what the Father has done to us, we’ve seen His miracle happened, His hands working, His power, His wisdom, His provision was overflowing, He’s with us, He favored our prayers and gave us people who were so nice and accommodating. They even allowed my husband to be with me in the delivery room and visited me anytime he wanted. I couldn’t find a word how to describe His awesomeness. With all the things that we experienced, we want to glorify and give honor to Him.

Thank you Lord for the gift of motherhood, at the age of 35 I became a mother:)

Visit Laurie’s blog for more thankful bloggers.

Thankful Thursday-Happy Birthday Mr. Zeng

Dear Mr. Zeng,

You’ll be turning 30 on Sunday, I am so thankful and grateful that God led us together, thank you for you’ve been patient with me, thank you for accepting my weaknesses, thank you for trying your best to be the person, husband (and soon) father that God wants you to be.  I’m so thankful on how our Father is changing you to be more like Him. I praise Him for softening your heart and making you willing to accept the changes that He wants you to make. I’ve seen you growing in faith, grace and wisdom. Thank you for encouraging me especially when I’m losing hope. Thank you for being my husband, my lover and my best friend. I thank the Lord for giving me someone who protects and provides for his family. Thank you for allowing me to me be your helpmeet. My prayer is that, our Lord gives us long life that we may grow old together. I thank and praise Him for your life.

I don’t know if you can still remember the poem below, I made it for you after we got engaged; I want you to know that I still feel the same. I’ve seen your weaknesses and I thank God for giving me the grace to accept and understand that. In spite of those, I firmly believe that you’re the best for me.

When we first held each other’s hands I just knew, we were meant to be.

You have the eyes that so gentle soothing to the soul.

You have the smile that is so true that I surrender my heart.

You have the heart that is pure that I trusted you.

I know that you are not an accident.

You are not a mistake

It was God who orchestrated everything

You are the gift that I’ve been waiting for.

The heavens rejoice when our eyes met for the first time.

Our Father was happy when we finally said Yes to His plan.

I know our relationship has been sealed in heaven.

And He is waiting for it to accomplish on earth.

He opened my heart to love you.

He opened my eyes to see your weaknesses.

He opened my mind to accept you for who you are.

He opened my soul to meet your needs.

I am proud to have you in my life

As our Father is proud when He revealed you to me.

I am blessed to have you

As the Father is blessed every time He stares at you.

I love you and I submit to you, because it is the way that pleases our Father.

As we face the challenges of life.

Let’s hold hands together with one mind, soul and spirit.

While God unravels to us the beauty and mystery of

His great plan for both of us.

I anxiously wait, for what will appear.

New homes, more laughter, and children so dear,

Everything will be wonderful, as long as you’re near

And as long as we let Christ reign in our hearts.

Happy Birthday my Dear Husband!

Check Laurie’s blog for more thankful Thursday entries. May you have a blessed week!

©The woman whom Jesus loved/The Emissary’s Feet