Multitudes on Mondays

(235-246)

Brokenness, the more I feel and see how broken I am, the more I cling to The Lord.

A gentle reminder from Him to live for the present and not for the future.

The gift of “now” reminding myself to live in the present is somehow giving me peace and rest.

Grace, everyday is grace from God, no matter how imperfect life may be, my ability to go through with life is grace from Him

My mess, shouting at my children, trying to manipulate them, choosing anger instead of understanding.  I’m not proud of those, yes Lord I need you more, and thank You for changing me each day.

Thank You for allowing me to grow as a mother to my children and wife to my husband.

Thank you Holy Spirit for rebuking me and allowing me to repent. Remind me always not to do it again and if ever I slip again, may you not get tired of pulling me up. May you soften my heart that I may repent hastily

Thankful for the rain, it seldom rains here.

Thankful for the air was good  and we were able to go out.

Today the weather isn’t that hot, I’m thankful for that.

Thankful for the book I’m reading “Letters to Young Pastor” by Calvin Miller

Thankful for the coffee every day.

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Doing Everything for The Glory of God

From time to time I am thinking about how much our life had changed since we got married and started a family. Our hope and dream to be in the front line was sidetracked and put on hold.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, I love my daughter, indeed she brings joy and blessings to our lives and another blessing is coming, 11 weeks from now I’ll be giving birth to our second child. But sometimes I thought of just how much of my time is spent in our house. We rarely go out anymore. I envied those women who are doing full-time in the ministry especially those missionaries. I stopped teaching in the Sunday School since I gave birth. I couldn’t even stay long in the church every Sunday to listen to the preaching because my daughter sometimes is noisy and I need to bring her out.
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Soon, I’ll be taking care of a toddler and a baby, couldn’t help but think….. can I ever go back to the ministry. I used to feel fulfilled when I did some ministries.

I am thanking the Father for reminding me of this verse, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” 1 Corinthians 10:31

Being a wife to my husband and mother to my children are major part of my ministry. Whether I am at home taking care of my family, doing household chores, changing diaper, breastfeeding, bringing my daughter to the park, etc, etc… or sharing the gospel, it should be done with joy and grateful spirit.

I should do everything for the glory of God.

Father, you have a purpose for everything, thank you for the family you have given me. Thank you for giving me a loving husband, a lovely daughter and letting me pregnant again. Instead of thinking about the past, may You give me the grace to embrace completely the life I have now. Help me to minister to my family for your glory. Amen!

My thankful list for this week….. I am thankful for the following:

#73 opportunity to share the gospel again

#74 the pizza I made and the bread that my husband made

#75 reminding me not to forget the keys everytime I go out

#76 the public transportation, it’s convenient to commute, with the subways and buses

#77 thankful that a friend working in the middle east was given a free airplane ticket so she could visit her family back home on July

#78 for the good weather, I can go out for a walk and my daughter can play also outside

#79 the seven stars we saw in the sky the other night, rarely you see them here because of the pollution

#80 bread machine my husband bought

#81 a husband who’s helping me at home, he’s cooking and washing dishes

#82 that the result of my tests are all great

#83 a healthy baby in the womb

#84 for a sister who is celebrating her birthday today

This post This post has been submitted to this week’s Gratitude post with Ann Voskamp and to Thankful Thursday with Iris.

Thankful Thursday

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Another day has passed, yesterday I was thinking about my life. Honestly I feel like I am not doing anything worthy. I am “just” a stay-at-home mom and wife.

I’ve been struggling lately, I always lose my temper.  I get easily irritated  with small things. I feel like I couldn’t do anything other than watching my daughter. I don’t even have time for myself.  I am losing my patience and temper and definitely not proud of it. I want to be creative in our time together but my mind seems no longer functioning. I couldn’t thing of any.

Could it be because I am pregnant again or maybe I am not stay at home material mom.

Don’t get me wrong I love my daughter, she’s definitely the most charismatic baby I have ever seen, she smiles at anyone. She smiles and talks most of the time. I love being able to teach her and see all the ways she’s growing up. However I feel like lately, I’m not good enough for her.

I remember what the Israelites said to Moses in Numbers 21:5, when they get tired of eating manna, they complained “there is nothing to eat here and nothing to drink. And we hate this horrible manna.”

Am I becoming like the Israelites? Getting tired of what I’m doing and want to do other things?

Oh Lord, forgive me for grumbling, forgive me for thinking this way. Help me to embrace the life you’ve given me and be satisfied with what I have and doing now. Help me to live a life to the fullest.

Today I am thankful for the following

#31- 36 years of existence

#32- my daughter turned one year old last month

#33-my second pregnancy

#34- was able to visit my country and hometown.

#35- the time we spent with my family.

#36-mother-in-law who’s helping us.

#37-husband who is hardworking and thrifty.

#38-spending time in prayer every morning with my husband.

#39-daughter who smiles to anyone.

#40- a new apartment to stay.

This post This post has been submitted to the week’s Gratitude post with Ann Voskampand to Thankful Thursday with Laura.

My Daughter is Going to be a Big Sister

Yes, I am not joking:) She is going to be a big sister, I’m going to be a mother for the second time and my husband is going to be a father for the second time too:) Isn’t that wonderful? My husband is so excited it’s the answer to his prayer, before I became pregnant he kept on telling me, let’s have another one, but I kept on telling him, not now maybe when our daughter reaches two years old but the Father favored him:). I’m little nervous though, I was in labor with my first for 10 1/2 hours and worst pushing for 10 hours long, oh yeah believe it or not I did that for 10 hours and that’s still fresh in my mind, nevertheless I am excited. 

I am seven weeks now. It’s pretty hard though, couldn’t eat much, i feel sick everyday and I’m still breastfeeding my baby.

Ahh thank you Father for the gift of motherhood

Choosing to be a stay-at-home Mom

“Are you working?”

“Nah, I’m staying at home mom and wife, I didn’t work since I got married, though I did part-time job.”

“Really?,  I couldn’t imagine myself just staying at home doing nothing, I have a baby, my parents are taking care of her while I am working here.”  She’s working here and her child is with her parents in our Country.

I was used of living independently, after graduating from college, I went to another city to work and from that time on until I got married I’d lived independently. I sent my sister to college, she’s with me until she got married.

What I’m trying to say here is, choosing home wasn’t an easy thing for me, I wanted to work, I wanted to earn,  I had worries, I had lots of what if… and if we both earning, we can have more, we can buy more, but you see I had plans but the Lord has other plan for me, for us.

I didn’t always want to be a stay at home mom, I never thought of just staying at home taking care of the house, my husband’s needs and the children.  Thinking about that made me cringe.  Probably because I live in the world where women must compete, build a career, conquer, be the leader or boss and bring home the money.

I had plans but the Lord has another plan. I surrendered to my calling, and let my husband fulfill his calling as well to be the protector and provider, to be the head of the family. I may not be earning but we’ve seen His hands working.  He is meeting our needs and even sometimes our wants. Surrendering my will to him allows me to fulfill my God-given role as wife and mother.

I may not have those fancy clothes and shoes,  I may not drive a car, I may not have those latest gadgets but my life is more peaceful, I don’t need to compete with the world, I don’t need to run after the world and its goodies.  Honestly though, sometimes I ask the Lord for my wants, It’s up to my Father to give those but I’m not running after those things.

I firmly believe we go through “seasons” my season now is to stay at home.  I’m not sure if the Lord will call me again to work outside my home. I am thankful for this season of my life where I can take care of the house and my husband’s and baby’s needs.

This post has been submitted to the week’s Gratitude post with Ann Voskamp and to Thankful Thursday with Lyn.

The beginning of my 1,000 Gifts to be Thankful for……

#1 my old Camera at last it retired few months ago, it suddenly stopped functioning.

#2 And because we can no longer use it, my husband bought a new one with 3D  and HD video functions, I always want a DSLR Camera but I think it’s not yet the time to buy that.

#3  the 3D pictures, they are absolutely cool.

#4 the 3D monitor and glasses we can able to view at our 3D pictures:)

#5 for our new place, it’s spacious and with lift, YAY I don’t need to climb till 8th floor.

#6 the smile from my baby’s face while breastfeeding her.

#7 the courage to breastfeed inside a public transportation full of people.

#8 the fussiness of my baby sometimes, somehow it helps me develop my patience.

#9 the cool weather, that means less electricity bill because we don’t need to use AC.

#10 being a stay home mother.

10 Reasons Why I love to Breastfeed

It’s best for my baby, breastfeeding helps keep me and my baby healthy, it also helps us save money.

I can eat, facebook, read email, read bible and breastfeed all at the same time.

I don’t need to wash and sterilize feeding bottles.

It’s convenient; I don’t need to bring those feeding bottles when I go out.

I don’t need to buy formula milk.

Breastfeeding at night is a breeze as I get to sleep when baby feeds.

I love my baby’s smile when she looks at me while feeding her.

He’s behaving well when we’re out maybe because I feed her before she frets and feels hungry.

I found it relaxing and soothing way to bond with my baby.

It feels amazing to see my baby growing and healthy, it’s because of my milk. God is using me to sustain her.

My Daughter’s First Fall

My dear daughter rolled out of bed and hit the hard  wood floor last Saturday. I put her on the bed while I was trying to wear the baby carrier, I saw her flipping over but it’s too late to catch her, the next thing happened was so fast, she was on the floor screaming and scared. I was freaking out and calling my husband  I forgot that he was out to buy something.

I picked her up, hugged and kissed her, after like 30 seconds she stopped crying, I checked her head for any bump, thankfully I didn’t feel or see any  “goose eggs” still I got an ice-cube wrapped it with towel and put on her head while nursing her, after 30 minutes she fell asleep probably because it’s time for her to take a nap. It was scary because I’ve heard from others that when a baby falls you have to keep her  awake, anyway I let her sleep while observing her for any changes like her color or breathing, after less than an hour  she woke up okey, smiling and playing again. I felt horrible and felt like I am a terrible mom. First time moms I guess feel that way.

She’s Turning 5 Months

PhotobucketMy baby girl is turning 5 months next week . She’s growing so fast, she’s 20.2 lbs now, indeed time flies way so quickly. I’m thanking the Father that  I’m staying at home mom because I want to be there and witness every time she hits a new milestone. And yes it’s amazing to watch her doing her “first”  like first grab, first words, first roll, etc,

At 3 months she started to babble words like  bebe, aya, gaga, aba bu, etc and at 4 months I heard her saying the words mama and baba(chinese word for father). It’s really wonderful to hear her shouting “mama. She started to bounce and she loves doing it at 3 months and 3 weeks. She started flipping over, raise and hold her head up while lying on her tummy, doing push up, lift his chest off  the bed, rock on her stomach, kick her legs and move her arms like she’s swimming at 4 mos. She’s trying to figure out now how to sit. She hates tummy though.

When she’s bored and wants me to do something like she wants me to stand while carrying her, she does a gagging voice and kick her feet. I observed something new this past few days, we couldn’t put her down she cries when we leave her alone. She always wants us to carry her I guess she’s developing her attachment to us. She started to laugh also when I make funny expressions on my face and express fear when I make crazy sound.

Words couldn’t explain the joy that  she’s giving us. She always amuses  us with her funny antics. It’s tiring sometimes but that’s part of motherhood, it’s a gift  that needs to be enjoyed and embraced. Ahh children are totally amazing. Indeed they are a blessing and a responsibility

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:-35 (NASB)